Learning to Listen

It's been a year of enormous changes for me. Without going into too much detail I am now living with my sister and her two kids (instant 6 kid household!) and I have just started feeling like myself again after an extremely turbulent year.

I would like to say I have dealt with every challenge with serenity and patience but that wouldn't be strictly true. More accurately I have been given the opportunity to develop my empathy with the children in my household and to feel their bewilderment at the big emotions that overwhelm them all at times. From tantrumming two year olds to pouting ten year olds, where I might once have reacted with frustration and been tempted to punish their behaviour instead I am learning to listen. To offer my support, to wait with them until the storm subsides and life seems reasonable again.

It's not easy. Sometimes all I want is for them all to leave me alone, just for an hour where noone wants to touch me. Sometimes I just want to shout out all my frustrations or have someone listen to ME!! But the more I hold them close, the more I listen, the more I say things like 'how can I help you calm down?'or 'you sound like you need a hug!' I find I feel peaceful, connected and they're listening. When I say 'can you trust me to help you come up with a solution? lets work together to figure this out? do you need my help or have you got this one?' they listen.

Not that everything goes smoothly all the time but when things get rocky because of the big stuff or even just because someone didn't get the right fruit in their lunchbox, we're learning how to just be there for each other.