The Power of Praise

I read an article recently in this magazine which really challenged my thinking. If I misquote any please forgive me, I was waiting for someone while I read it, don't have a copy so I can't refer to it.... but I have been thinking about it so much since.

Basically it was about what our praise does to our kids. We praise our kids for everything, which is cool, we do it because we think they're great, and because we want them to keep doing all the good stuff they do. Like classical conditioning, we're trying to reward their good behaviour so they have pleasant associations with it and want to keep doing it. But what if kids aren't like little animals? What if they're critically thinking individuals with their own minds, ideas and wills?
I can't quote the sources but according to some studies quoted in the article, when kids were praised for sharing with other kids they actually shared less. It appears all the 'good sharing honey' stuff made the act of sharing into a way to get praise from a parent. Counter-intuitive huh?

The alternative: non-judgemental observations. Facts.

To say 'wow, good painting' makes painting something that's good or bad. To say 'look at your big brush strokes' or 'gee you've used lots of colours!!' allows painting to be something experimental, something that can be enjoyed for the brush strokes and the colours. Children are given the opportunity to decide for themselves if it's 'good' Or what about just 'you look like you're having fun!'

Let sharing be about making other people feel good. Instead of 'good job' try 'look at how much she's enjoying that toy' 'look at his big smile, see how happy he is that you gave him a turn on the digger'

I want my children to feel good about their creative selves, to feel confident in the value of their own explorations. I don't want them to grow up needing to seek other people's good opinions of themselves or their work to feel satisfied or worthy.

My 3 year old is quilting!

Yesterday we were in a fabric shop. We were the only customers. Mr 3 ran from display to display declaring 'this is what I want, it's so yellow' 'this is what I want, it feels so smooth' 'look at this Mum, this is amazing, it has sparkles' ooh I love this golden one, this is what I want' But it was when he proclaimed 'I wish I didn't have my own house, I wish I had a fabric shop to live in' that the shop owner was thoroughly won over. He presented Mr 3 with a fat quater of quilting fabric he could keep. At first glance he saw it was brown and was not exactly thrilled. But then he saw the diggers and concrete mixers printed on it and fell in love. He spent the rest of the day stroking it, folding and unfolding it, showing it to people, musing over what he could make it into... any fabric addicts out there, does any of this sound familiar!!! He was torn between a blanket to snuggle under or a blanket to have a picnic on. I suggested we see what Grandma had in her fabric stash that we could use with it (I always like to be generous with Grandma's stash!!!) and that we could make the blanket first before he decided. "Yes, good idea' he agreed 'it needs some orange. And some blue. And green' and when we were in the cave of delights that is my mothers sewing room 'Sparkles. And could we put some beads on it'
I dutifully made it up into a very simple (quick!) quilt top and was pondering hard over how to quilt it so the pattern of his precious fabric wouldn't be obscured. I ran idea past him. 'Ummm... no. I want small squares around each digger and rectangles on the orange part and triangles on the blue.' While I sewed he sat beside me working the foot pedal. Or sat on my knee guiding the fabric with his hands. And he chose thread colours, nearly forgot that, by lining up all the available colours on the strip to be quilted and choosing which looked the best. I didn't think it would be him being mini me!!

Anyone who knows me knows 2 things: I like to buck the trends on formal early childhood education and I like to follow my children's interests and see what magical places they can take me. Us. Well, them really but I get so much out of it too. This scenario is a cool story but more than that it screams opportunity to me. And one I am loath to miss. And not just because I will jump on any reason (excuse?) to start and finish a quilting project!

So...what has he learned? He has been able to develop his interest in colour, in texture, he has been able to use and extend his vocabulary of adjectives, he has been able to emulate what he sees me and Grandma do with fabric, he has been able to plan a project, he has been able to use his knowledge of geometry in an awesomely meaningful context.

My response to his learning? I don't know where this is going. I'm trying to be prepared for the next step whatever it might be. I wonder is this about the fabric? the colour? making something? doing something together he knows I love? So far I have given him as much control of the project as I was able to relinquish and still come out with a finished product! I have let him choose the colours of fabric. I didn't give him total free reign here, I picked the actual fabrics and submitted them for his approval, if you saw The Stash you'd know why - we'd still be choosing at Christmas!!! He chose the thread. His picks were interesting and not what I would've chosen sometimes but then what do I know, they look awesome! I'll be asking him for his input in my projects in the future.

Kaffe Fassett knitting.

I am on the lookout for more ideas for exploring colour and texture, and I want to introduce him to Hundertwasser and Kaffe Fassett. I want to point out the richness of colour and texture in The Very Hungry Caterpillar next time we read it.
And the next time I hear the words 'I want to make...' my ears will prick up.

Hundertwasser

He's getting more than just a quilt out of this. He could be getting a love of making things, a love of fabric, it could be sparking an interest in design or maybe just an assurance that while I may have to say no to lots of his ideas (like ones that involve screwdrivers and small appliances or soccer balls and televisions) I am willing to listen to him, give his thoughts some credence, and support his creativity and help him see his ideas come to fruition.

The joys of noise

Look what this cool lady did at her house! I am so inspired! I don't know if Mr Tall would appreciate me changing the landscape here on a permanent basis but perhaps something I can dismantle after a play session? We are spending much of every day singing and dancing. The choice of music is currently ABBA for dancing intersprsed with Mr3's versions of church songs with hearty clapping and conducting. Oh and big sisters ballet music, he remembers lots of her exercises!
Music has been such an important part of his journey from babyhood. As a little one he tried every surface for it's noise making properties (either banging or rubbing his fingernails along) and would sit in front of the cd player for inordinate periods of time. We have had a light opera phase a jazz phase, a 70's rock phase, even a kids music phase!!!
It has been the subject of lots of research, the role of music in the development of language, motor skills and social behaviour. When you consider that even our temperament is influenced by the tempo of our pulse it seems like rhythm is an integral part of us. Music can express emotions, help us remember things, relax us, (stress us out!), make work easier, and be a pivotal part of social occasions.
Here are some ideas for extending musical play with children:

• Sing! lots, about everything! Use known tunes and change the lyrics. Use your childs name. Make them super silly

• Use singing instead of talking. We've gone for nearly a whole day in opera mode!

• Invest in ear plugs and hand out the wooden spoons. Encourage children to find which pieces of furniture make the best noise. Obviously discourage the use of windows as drums...

• Even pretty small kids pick up the concept of copying rythms either clapping or drumming.

• Musical statues! 

• Please please don't limit listening time to 'kid music' There's a whole world of musical styles out there, quite literally. My favourite radio station to listen to with the kids is this compilation of world music but there's heaps more.

• Use music to reflect a mood. Or create a mood. We have creative time music - Baroque or classical, my favourites are Bach and Mozart, sleepy time music someone gave us this album and it's a real favourite. Small children fall asleep, older children head for cuddly blankets and books to read. Active music is not hard to find, anything with a fast tempo. Can be a good boundary for crazy jumping and running on a wet day.

And here's a whole lot more!

His concession to my schema

If you read this you know I have a disconnector. I however am a Mum. I have a Mum schema.  I prefer my remote with the batteries in. I think toy cars should have wheels. I like my furniture intact. I like things to be tidy enough I can invite friends over and not have those sympathy grimaces. About kid stuff. (I can handle sympathy grimaces over the state of my bath or the spiders living in the ceiling corners)

Disconnectaur.

Sometimes our schemas are at odds.

Mr Clever has discovered the following: if he puts his toy cars inside the hollow legs of his plastic chairs and table in such a way they wont fall back out, I will actually assist him to dismantle the furniture.
Everybody wins.

Questions, questions, questions...

I field a million a day. About everything. Apparently I was a 'but why' child too and this second child (not my first, she preferred and still does to tell me stuff!!) has been sent to me to make my mother happy!

W 'Mum why can't I hit the window with a stick' 

M 'because you might break it' 

W 'but why' 

M 'because it's made of glass' 

W ' but why is it made of glass' 

M' so we can see through it' 

W 'but why can we see through it' 

M 'so I can still know what you're doing when I've put you out there so I can enjoy my coffee in peace' (I always like to stick to scientific facts...)

I have two theories for the questions. All those questions.
One is that my child is smart and curious. And if the smart and curious is proportional to the amount of stuff he has to know he's probably far smarter than me. He could probably beat Stephen Hawking at chess. And physics.
The other theory is that he really likes to interact with me. Probably not just me but I get to be the lucky one seeing as we're nearly always together.
(I had a theory for a little while that he thinks I'm really smart but that was less about his learning than my need for esteem so I dropped it)

So here's my tactic: .... if my first theory is correct, he's smart enough to answer his own questions, if my second theory is correct he needs me to interact with him, not necessarily answer his questions. So the following dialogue ensues:  
W 'why can't I hit the window with a stick'
M 'I think you are clever enough to figure that out. I'm going to let you think for a bit then I'm going to ask you and see what ideas you have....(long pause (actual long pause, I don't say long pause)...) W, why can't you hit the window with a stick?'
W ' because if it gets broken we have to have that brown tape on the window again'
M 'I knew you'ld come up with an awesome idea!!'
THE END
Seriously, sometimes he likes to ask me for a different idea but it's totally changed the nature and purpose of that interaction. And his ideas are way more fun to listen to than mine.

Just a thought

The task of teaching a subject to a child at any particular age is one of representing the structure of that subject in terms of the child's way of viewing things (Jerome Bruner The Process of Education) 

Bruner describes an educators role as that of a translator. To take the big concepts of maths and science (and everything else!) and make them something that fits in my childs world. I guess this sums up why schema theory appeals to me so much. To me it acts as a child lens for the world. It's not easy to relate to the thinking of someone who cant tell yesterday from last week or thinks there's actually more playdough if it's squished it into a snake rather than left in a ball. Any help is welcome!!

A world apart

Disconnection

A new phase started for Mr3 with a bang. Or rather a rip. He's dismembering things. It's indiscriminate, well it was initially. If it was tearable it was torn, if it was cuttable it was cut, he took out a box of smll toys and pulled them all apart. His sister's barbie collection was reduced to a pile of torsos, heads and legs. His lovely older sister responded so insightfully (bless her!!!) and provided him with her less precious school projects and toys she no longer loved. We have had many discussions about books and the sacredness thereof but still sometimes he comes to confess and I know he just couldn't help himself, the urge to destroy was just too strong!!!
At the same time we have been having many many discussions about what's in things and under things and the timely appearance of big holes along the footpaths as lots of pipes and telephone cables are being repaired/ replaced has seen us on many a lingering walk just staring in awed fascination. The bundle of coloured wires (each one is for a different person's phone!) the Telecom guy was fixing was like finding a diamond mine. And overnight the preferred settling activity if he's sad or sick or tired is no longer videos of his favourite Jazz singer but diagrams of the circulatory or digestive system.
His artwork is also thoroughly disconnected. His people are unrecognisable conglomerations of mouths, eyes, freckles, hair, legs... all the bits he considers important all separated out and given equal importance.
Disconnection schema. Honestly it's a hard one to see the virtues of. We did some neat painting the other day. He couldn't wait until it was dry. Then before I saw it coming he had the scissors in hand and it was confetti.  I have heard of other kids in a similar phase attacking clothing and bedclothes, luckily this hasn't occurred to him, well of course it's occurred to him just his scissors aren't sharp enough. Phew. Since this has become somewhat of a family focus, he has been presented at nearly every turn with stuff he can legitimately wreck and he hasn't ripped a book in weeks. It could've gone either way!

So, do you have a destroyer like mine? Here's my list of things that have been a hit and some things I intend to try.

• Cooking: chopping vegetables for dinner. I used a big knife and we gripped the handle together with his other hand flat on the top of the blade. I wasn't willing to relinquish control and this was satisfying enough for him. Otherwise a smaller, less sharp knife and nothing more dense than a potato would've been my pick. And close supervision of course! But the sooner they can do this reliably the sooner you have a night off cooking so don't shy away!!! Rubbing butter into flour for pastry or scones. I use one of these but the between fingertips methood would probably be just as much fun.

• Cutting/ ripping paper, junkmail: containers for sorting colours afterwards would be a good way to extend this, or provide glue and do some paper mache or collage, I get my son to help me rip old mail like bank statements before I feed them to the worms

• What's inside? this series of books show fabulous cross sections and these are hilarious! We have been exploring this human body site, and this one I'm sure there are many others, even better ones- feel free to post a comment with any you know of, we're keen to check them out!

• Playdough and salt dough, make layers of different colours and cut slices. Make beads. These look quite complicated but if you try it with nice thick ropes they turn out awesome. They've used them to decorate a vase but the possibilities are endless. I used salt dough instead of clay and they worked well for littlies. Dough in general gives fabulous scope for making things that can be destroyed over and over again.

• Be alert to the possibilities in the real world. If you see workmen digging holes, chopping up bits of road, cutting down trees, stop and investigate. Help them connect what they're doing when they dismember things at home with what's happeneing in the big wide world.

• Animals are disconnectors too!!!Snails destroy leaves and even paper with their tongues, wasps rip tree bark and chew it to make their nests, beavers cut down trees with their teeth... sounds sort of nasty but we love taking the snails out of the garden and putting them on the driveway for the birds, ever seen birds crack and eat snails? pretty good fun if you don't look at it from the snail's point of view!!! You could choose to explore this wonderful animal world less hands on with books and videos.

Although this may just feel like wanton destruction this is a way your child is choosing to explore their world and they are learning lots by it: how things work, what things are made of, fine motor skills: the same muscles that work scissors and tear little bits of paper are important for buttoning and unbuttoning, and pencil and pen control. It really helps my sanity to think of where these small skills lead. You may have a future engineer or mechanic or surgeon or dressmaker or architect or woodcarver on your hands if you can nurture their interest and give parameters to explore.

A Flying Start

Trajectory.

I was amused watching one of our little under twos at Playcentre last Friday playing in the sandpit. He was surrounded by myriad interesting toys but was utterly fascinated by just watching the sand fly as he threw it. Now we don't condone the throwing of sand as a general rule, but there were no other kids in the firing line and he had an insightful parent with him who rather than reprimand him, directed him to a paddling pool of water which had no one in it as a good destination for his flying sand. He looked so delighted watching the sand land in the water. I believe it had been set up attractively for water play with dye in it and had been appreciated by a only a couple of kids but for this little guy it was totally worth the sacrifice! Later as it was a hot day the hose was brought out for some cooling down fun and this same child discovered the delights of directing the water. I was smart enough to be observing this from well out of the firing line!!! This led to him discovering that when he aimed the water at a yoga ball he could move it across the play area. I am looking forward to observing this boy more closely next week, I am thinking perhaps a trajectory schema? I have been compiling a list of things I'd like to offer for him over the next while to help him explore different ways of moving things.

Gravity:

• rolling balls down a slide
• pushing cars down ramps
• setting up a marble run, or maybe like this
• marble painting
• dropping paint onto paper from a height
• pulleys, maybe make up a game of throwing things into a bucket attached to a pulley until it's heavy enough to lift another bucket off the ground...

Blowing

• ping pong balls across a table with a straw
• blowing paint across paper

Throwing

• balls into hoops/ buckets
• paint-soaked sponges at paper

Pushing/ pulling

• using chalk to draw a big line on the ground (could move along the line in different ways or push vehicles along it)

He'd probably enjoy feeling movement himself too, rolling down the hill, swinging, riding in the wagon...

That'll do me for starters. I'm looking forward to Friday now!!!!

All Wrapped Up

Enclosure, Enveloping and Containment.

First, a small disclaimer. I have seen these 3 schemas listed separately in lots of articles but I am going to lump them together. In learning theory they may be worlds apart but in practise I can't tell too much difference!!!
Hi my name is Erin and my child is the one who looks silly in a thousand layers of clothes. If you can see her cos she could be stuffed in that small gap between the couch and the wall. Or in the wardrobe. Or under a pile of cushions. No, she's not a complete fruit loop - it's her schema!!!! Actually the first time I met schema theory I was at playcentre watching her fold herself in a very small box closing the lid over her head. A very wise woman I know handed me a copy of this schema matrix and yes, there she was in the enclosure/ enveloping column. Suddenly her tights, jeans, skirt, long sleeved top, short sleeved dress and veil ensemble made perfect sense!!! As if she was reading over my shoulder her next half hour consisted of: wrapping all the playdough at the playdough table in paper, painting a beautiful picture then obliterating it with a layer of black over the top, burying her legs in the sandpit... when we got home that day I cleared out her wardrobe, put a big cushion in the bottom and voila, for the next year and a half that's where you'd find her if she was sad, tired, recently told off, reading, or just feeling quiet!!
If any of that sounds familiar to you, keep reading, the following activities are probably either already enjoyed by your child or something they would love to do!!!!

Role playing/ family play: cubby houses! I swear it was every day for months the contents of my linen cupboard were utilised for making tents, cubby houses and 'bed nests' and the contents of her room were carried out to furnish these creations. Tunnels are fun to hide in/ crawl through.

Dress ups: clothing is important to these kids, especially wigs, drapey fabric, lace tablecloths, capes, veils and do I need to say layers again? Let them choose their own clothes. And I dare you to leave the house like that!!! Bags to put stuff in.

Stories: my daughter's favourite story at this time was 'There was an old lady who swallowed a fly' I swear it was the Russian doll effect of animals inside animals inside animals that made her want to read it over and over and over.... and over. Owl Babies, another favourite, what enclosure kid wouldn't want to live in a tree? Any of Eric Carle's books are great for the artwork as his illustrations are all done with layers of different tissue paper. And when it comes down to it, any book as long as it's read in a tent is going to be a hit!!

Science: lots of animals live in pretty close quarters, wasps, birds, ants, find some pictures of owls inside trees foxes in a den etc etc You will have ample opportunity to introduce concepts such as capacity volume space and size. Provide containers and different stuff (wet and dry) to pour into them. Think creatively for containers, use a funnel to fill a balloon with rice!
 
Maths: containers that fit inside other containers, nesting boxes, Russian dolls

Art: collage - different flat materials to build up layers with. I had an art box of old cards, cut up junkmail, catalogue pages, that sort of thing. A la Eric Carle try slightly transparent layers. Tissue paper rips easily and may be frustrating for small fingers to work with but sheer fabrics like netting or organza can work well. Frames are often important to enclosure kids too. I look back at almost all the art work from this time and there are either long pieces or string or ribbon glued around the edges or the paper or frames drawn or painted on. Provide long thin things for frames, sticks, string, help cut paper ribbons etc. Painting is great for layering. Don't show your regret and frustration when the elaborate and skilled pictures disappear under a layer of 'night-time' or 'clothes' or 'blankets'!!! Just stand nearby with a camera and get progress pictures so you can remember and remind your child what was underneath. Crayon does interesting layers too and because they don't mix you can even scratch part of the layers off later. Papier mache! Playdough. Try different ways of presenting this to make it even more fun. Hide surprises in it like small toys. Enclose one colour completely inside another colour. Or don't add colour into the dough, roll it into balls, break open each one and pour in some colouring then close them up again. Let them discover the colour when they start manipulating it!  Wrapping paper (even newspaper) and a tape dispenser will provide hours of fun. Especially for you if you are the tape dispenser!!!

Dances with schemas 1: Transformation

Children fascinated by transformation are often spotted pretending to be different people or animals, they tend to love dressing up and will adopt a particular voice or way of walking to be a particular character. They are expert mess makers and will seldom stay clean. They can be identified at the paint easel: they are the ones with the painted hands and clean paper! They find unconventional ways to use equipment (one transformation child at our Playcentre found a rugby ball and to the consternation of her rugby playing peers took it to the paint easel, painted it and used it to make prints!)
They will probably be interested in the following activities:

Drama: costumes, props, provide costumes appropriate for any story you might be reading. Puppet shows. Give instructions in different accents/ personas eg old woman, baby, wicked witch etc

Side note: drama is a great tool to use for discipline/ expressing emotion and frustration. If you have a child with a natural ‘flair’ for drama cash in on it to diffuse and get out those strong feelings so you can deal with the issues calmly. eg: I can see you feel really angry, I want you to run over and roar at that tree like an angry lion.

Music: try music that expresses different moods, eg Carnival of the Animals by Saint-Saens. Move the way the music ‘feels’ 

Art:  face painting, bathtub paint, puff paint, finger paint. 

My favourite recipe to use is the following: 

2 cups corn flour
1 cup cold water
4 cups boiling water (a little more if necessary)
¼ cup soap flakes (optional)

Whisk corn flour and cold water in a large bowl until smooth white and shiny. Pour in boiling water while stirring and beat until smooth, thick and translucent. Add the soap flakes if desired and keep stirring. If you use an electric beater you can whip it to a beautiful fluffy consistency. Add food colouring as desired.
The beauty of this recipe is that every stage the ingredients transform completely. In fact the first time you make it you may never get past the first cornflour gloop stage!!! Make sure your transformation child is with you while you make it so they can wow at the process (but careful of the boiling water obviously!!!!)

My children love using this on our big glass sliding doors!

Stories: anything easily acted out! Some favourites from my experience: The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, Polar Bear Polar Bear What Do You Hear by Bill Martin Jr /Eric Carle, Goldilocks and the Three Bears (so fun, we went out for a walk and pretended we were Goldilocks coming back to someone elses house – I really felt naughty!!!)

Science: hello youtube!  butterflies emerging from chrysalises (or chrysalides - who knew!), cicadas crawling out of their skin, wasps chewing wood to build nests, tadpoles turning into frogs...lots of fascinating watching for the picking! Plant seeds (sunflowers give awesome bang for buck) plant swan plants so the whole monarch butterfly drama will be played out in your front yard, get a pond for the froggy version!! Potions: know of any simple chemical reactions? Red cabbage indicator liquid. Vinegar and soda ‘volcanoes’ make bread to see the yeast react, hokey pokey, just about any baking really as long as there's some sort of rising involved.

More ideas here.

I personally find this schema a whole lot of fun. These kids will invariably find the most surprising uses for any equipment you provide them, will hijack any carefully thought out activity and turn it into something completely off the wall. They will challenge your comfort zones but remind you that the world is an amazing and fascinating place where miraculous things happen every day!!! If this is your child making special exploratory messes in your own house, you can remind yourself that this is just a stage they’re in now and by next week even they could be exploring something entirely new. And meantime don’t forget to give your washing machine a hug of gratitude before you go to sleep each night!!! 

The work of play

There’s a fabulous buzzword out in the world of early childhood education called ‘schemas’. Simply put this means that kids tend to explore one aspect of the universe at a time. Most kids favoured activities can be filed under one schema or another. For instance: throwing. Think small boys and small blocks!!! Those kids who seem to hurl everything into the great beyond or the nearest window are exploring the principles of trajectory. Doesn’t make the broken stuff easier to clean up but explains they’re not a destructive maniac, just an amateur physicist. 

I had an ‘enveloper’ who spent many happy hours snuggled into the tiny cubby house I made for her in her wardrobe or wrapping all her toys up in paper. Some kids are into circularity, if it has a wheel or rolls they’re in. Transporters relocate everything and love to load up trolleys or baskets. 

It is an interesting exercise to observe your child’s chosen activities over a few days. Note how they play with things. If they’re working with playdough are they joining little bits together (connecting) or chopping things apart (disconnecting) carrying it round the house (transporting) throwing it onto the floor (trajectory) Getting the idea?

As a parent and educator I find it a tremendously useful starting point for guiding and supporting my children’s discoveries.

For example picture me baking muffins with Sarah (4) a child I was recently caring for:

First I poured flour into the bowl. "Can I touch it" asked Sarah. I said "yes you can" and she plunged her hands in, rubbed it up her arms and on her face. ‘This feel a-MA-zing’ she said "it’s so soft. And I’ve gone all white!!!". Then we added the sugar. "can I feel it now?" "sure thing Sarah" again the hands went into the bowl "ooh... now it feels different... like the sand" I mixed the wet ingredients together then we tipped them in. I could almost feel the excitement emanating from her in waves!!!! "wow, wow WOW" as we mixed it in "it’s totally different now!!!"  We put the muffins in the oven and started cleaning up, keeping a close eye on what was happening inside the oven. "They’re getting bigger!!!!!"

Textbook transformation child – she wasn’t interested in the way the beaters moved or tipping the ingredients from cup to bowl, rather she was excited to see it change state and used it to change herself. Likewise when this child read a book she transformed herself into one of the characters. When we painted, her paper transformed slightly but she became completely different!!!  In the time I looked after her we made baking soda and vinegar volcanoes, we baked things that produced lovely visible reactions, we made cornflour based fingerpaint because it let us see amazing changes of state, we re-enacted books, we played dress-ups.... I was able to extend the scope of her explorations within her chosen schema. And I learned lots about making mess. And we had fun!!!

I have heaps of ideas for providing play experiences in different schemas and over the next wee while I'll share with you what I've tried/ gleaned / read / have on file!