A world apart

Disconnection

A new phase started for Mr3 with a bang. Or rather a rip. He's dismembering things. It's indiscriminate, well it was initially. If it was tearable it was torn, if it was cuttable it was cut, he took out a box of smll toys and pulled them all apart. His sister's barbie collection was reduced to a pile of torsos, heads and legs. His lovely older sister responded so insightfully (bless her!!!) and provided him with her less precious school projects and toys she no longer loved. We have had many discussions about books and the sacredness thereof but still sometimes he comes to confess and I know he just couldn't help himself, the urge to destroy was just too strong!!!
At the same time we have been having many many discussions about what's in things and under things and the timely appearance of big holes along the footpaths as lots of pipes and telephone cables are being repaired/ replaced has seen us on many a lingering walk just staring in awed fascination. The bundle of coloured wires (each one is for a different person's phone!) the Telecom guy was fixing was like finding a diamond mine. And overnight the preferred settling activity if he's sad or sick or tired is no longer videos of his favourite Jazz singer but diagrams of the circulatory or digestive system.
His artwork is also thoroughly disconnected. His people are unrecognisable conglomerations of mouths, eyes, freckles, hair, legs... all the bits he considers important all separated out and given equal importance.
Disconnection schema. Honestly it's a hard one to see the virtues of. We did some neat painting the other day. He couldn't wait until it was dry. Then before I saw it coming he had the scissors in hand and it was confetti.  I have heard of other kids in a similar phase attacking clothing and bedclothes, luckily this hasn't occurred to him, well of course it's occurred to him just his scissors aren't sharp enough. Phew. Since this has become somewhat of a family focus, he has been presented at nearly every turn with stuff he can legitimately wreck and he hasn't ripped a book in weeks. It could've gone either way!

So, do you have a destroyer like mine? Here's my list of things that have been a hit and some things I intend to try.

• Cooking: chopping vegetables for dinner. I used a big knife and we gripped the handle together with his other hand flat on the top of the blade. I wasn't willing to relinquish control and this was satisfying enough for him. Otherwise a smaller, less sharp knife and nothing more dense than a potato would've been my pick. And close supervision of course! But the sooner they can do this reliably the sooner you have a night off cooking so don't shy away!!! Rubbing butter into flour for pastry or scones. I use one of these but the between fingertips methood would probably be just as much fun.

• Cutting/ ripping paper, junkmail: containers for sorting colours afterwards would be a good way to extend this, or provide glue and do some paper mache or collage, I get my son to help me rip old mail like bank statements before I feed them to the worms

• What's inside? this series of books show fabulous cross sections and these are hilarious! We have been exploring this human body site, and this one I'm sure there are many others, even better ones- feel free to post a comment with any you know of, we're keen to check them out!

• Playdough and salt dough, make layers of different colours and cut slices. Make beads. These look quite complicated but if you try it with nice thick ropes they turn out awesome. They've used them to decorate a vase but the possibilities are endless. I used salt dough instead of clay and they worked well for littlies. Dough in general gives fabulous scope for making things that can be destroyed over and over again.

• Be alert to the possibilities in the real world. If you see workmen digging holes, chopping up bits of road, cutting down trees, stop and investigate. Help them connect what they're doing when they dismember things at home with what's happeneing in the big wide world.

• Animals are disconnectors too!!!Snails destroy leaves and even paper with their tongues, wasps rip tree bark and chew it to make their nests, beavers cut down trees with their teeth... sounds sort of nasty but we love taking the snails out of the garden and putting them on the driveway for the birds, ever seen birds crack and eat snails? pretty good fun if you don't look at it from the snail's point of view!!! You could choose to explore this wonderful animal world less hands on with books and videos.

Although this may just feel like wanton destruction this is a way your child is choosing to explore their world and they are learning lots by it: how things work, what things are made of, fine motor skills: the same muscles that work scissors and tear little bits of paper are important for buttoning and unbuttoning, and pencil and pen control. It really helps my sanity to think of where these small skills lead. You may have a future engineer or mechanic or surgeon or dressmaker or architect or woodcarver on your hands if you can nurture their interest and give parameters to explore.